Advait - the unique one!

It seemed like yesterday when they were together, not madly in love, but reasonably compatible, barring a few differences they had learnt to live with..

Riya remembered the day she had first met Anuj Gupta. It was arranged by their parents who had already matched their horoscopes and were reasonably convinced that Riya and Anuj would make a perfect match. Both belonged to well-off Marwari families, were in their late 20's, well educated, working with MNC's, and most importantly both belonged to different gotras (critical for a horoscope match). The meeting was set up at Anuj's ancestral home in Kolkata where his parents lived. Riya remembered how she hated every minute of making the effort to dress up and pass the crowded by-lanes of Bada Bazaar to reach Anuj’s home. Having grown up in the posh Lansdowne road, this felt like another world to her. Their first meeting was cordial with a few basic questions exchanged. There were no heavenly signs (a la Bollywood) which could have helped her make the decision. But when Riya was asked for her opinion, she meekly nodded a yes, mainly because Anuj was based in Bangalore - away from his family; and Riya had always dreamt of leading an independent life. She wanted to see a new world - a world beyond the comforting yet predictable lanes of Kolkata.

The first few months of marriage were certainly demanding. Staying independently did come with a hefty price. Riya was now coping with a new city, settling at a new workplace, managing the household chores and nurturing a new relationship. Sometimes when she would have a long day at work, she would ask Anuj to help her with the housework. But Anuj had clearly declared “I don't like doing housework, except buying groceries and gardening. You can hire an additional maid if you need help, but don't expect me to do all this”. His reactions and his strong views about housework being only her responsibility, made Riya furious. They often had fights over this issue, but in vain. Over a period, Riya realized that it is difficult to change a person, and gradually she made peace with the way Anuj was.

A year into marriage, they contemplated buying their own house. While staying on rent was a better option financially, it did not give them the emotional security to call it their home. Riya was of the opinion that they should settle for a 2 bedroom apartment. But Anuj was clear that he wanted a lavish villa. He explained "I belong to a family of landlords. My parents would be ashamed if they see us staying in a tiny-viny apartment". Riya reasoned that taking such a big house would call for a bigger mortgage, which meant they would have to slog harder, it also meant that she would not be able to take a sabbatical when they decided to start a family. He rubbished her concerns saying "Family planning can wait madam, but we can't keep changing our home every year. We are buying this from a long term perspective". Like always, Riya gave in to Anuj's wishes and they settled for a beautiful villa in an uptown gated community in Whitefield.

Riya enjoyed every bit of this new phase of setting up her house. From setting up the bookshelf, to choosing the lampshades for each corner, to choosing the paint color for each room, to setting up the beautiful small garden, she did it all with a lot of joy and love.. It was her little piece of heaven; right in the heart of the city yet secluded enough to make her feel transported to another world.

One Saturday, while sipping coffee in the verandah of their bedroom, Riya broke the news to Anuj. "I am pregnant!" she exclaimed. Anuj looked puzzled, excited and anxious, all at once. He kissed her forehead and said "Wow! You've given me so much happiness today. I can now tell the world that I am going to be a proud daddy!" Anuj took good care of Riya during the entire term of her pregnancy, Riya wondered if the baby would be a catalyst for bringing about a change in their relationship - the ideal relationship she had always dreamt of. It was all beautiful and dreamlike till the day Riya delivered a baby boy at the “Nest" hospital in Kolkata.
Anuj did not take the baby in his arms; he looked shocked, annoyed and disappointed. Riya could see him having an animated conversation in the lobby with his parents; after a few minutes of discussion they left.
Anuj walked in the room, sat on the beige leather sofa placed next to her bed and said “The baby is detected with Down Syndrome”. He added clinically, “Down syndrome occurs when a child has a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21. The additional genetic material alters the course of development and causes the characteristics associated with Down syndrome.”
Riya was devastated. She felt aghast, deprived, disgusted and annoyed. She couldn’t believe this had happened to her. She wished it was a bad dream, a nightmare which would soon be over, but she knew it was a reality. She froze. 
Anuj held her by her shoulders and shook her lightly, bringing her back to reality. He said in an authoritative tone “This child does not belong to us. We will be sending him away to an NGO. Mom has already spoken to a friend who knows an NGO that deals with mentally disabled children. We’ll take care of him financially, but we cannot live with this baggage all our lives. We should not feel guilty about sending him away; afterall we’ve not committed any such sins for which we need to endure this lifelong punishment. I’ve figured what we’ll tell the world about your delivery, we’ll tell everyone you gave birth to a stillborn child”.
Riya could not believe what Anuj had just said. She was shocked with this practical yet insensitive attitude exhibited by Anuj. She looked straight into his eyes, searching for answers, but he turned his gaze away.
She looked at her mother, who was sobbing uncontrollably. Her dad, who was sitting next to her mother in the large brown sofa below the TV, added “Beta, this is a very big decision, and though you are our daughter, we do not want to influence your decision by giving our advice or views. You belong to the Gupta family now and you should do what they feel is right.”
Riya was completely shattered; it seemed like her world had come crumbling down in a few minutes - the world she had always known, the world she belonged to, the world where she believed her parents could solve the biggest of her troubles with an invisible magic wand. She had never felt so lonely.
She looked at her baby; he looked like a normal child except his big bright eyes, slightly slanted, looking around curiously at everything. Riya slid her finger into his tiny hand, he grabbed it at once, playfully, and something stirred inside Riya. She finally managed to gather herself.
She revisited the time when she was expecting, how the child had got her joy in those nine months – the joy she felt everytime he kicked her, the joy she felt looking at a life developing inside her womb during every scan, the joy she felt everytime she could feel his heart beating inside her. He was a part of her – an extended part of her soul. Exhausted by the surge of thoughts, she soon fell into a deep slumber.
Riya’s sleep was interrupted by a thud on the door. It was Anuj. Riya looked around and all she could see was the pale grey curtains, the white walls and the light blue bedsheets. She thought the room reflected her state of mind – dull, gloomy and desolate.
She looked around for the baby, and was relieved to see him sleeping like an angel, oblivious to the fact that his parents were going to abandon him in a few hours. It was only the three of them in the room – Anuj, Riya and the baby.
Riya collected her thoughts and finally managed to break the discomforting silence “Anuj, I thought about it a lot. I think we should keep the baby, he needs us, and he belongs to us”.
Anuj sighed in disbelief “Are you out of your mind Riya? Don’t you know that these people are not accepted in the society? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to raise a child with Down syndrome? Don’t you know he does not fit into the “perfect family” we’ve always dreamt of. Don’t be an emotional fool! There are special institutes for these children; they’ll take good care of his needs. I just visited one of the best NGO’s in Kolkata and they have agreed to take him on the condition of anonymity, provided we make a decent contribution to their trust. It is all sorted; please don’t make it difficult for all of us”.
What irked her most was the fact that Anuj referred to their baby as “these children”. She wondered how he could be so cold, so inhuman. She wondered if it was the same person she had known all these years.
She felt a fit of rage running through her mind and she was now trembling with anger. She did not know if it was Anuj’s insensitive words or the fact that she had been through an emotional and physical turmoil in the last two days, which was making her lose her sense of control.
She yelled at Anuj “This is my baby, as much as it yours. Nobody can take him away from me or decide for him without my consent”.
Anuj was startled. In all these years together, they had had their share of altercations, but he had never seen Riya so aggressive. He slammed the door and left.
The next day had more drama in store. Anuj’s parents tried to persuade Riya to let go of the baby but Riya refused to budge.
She had never been a rebel, ever in her life; she had always done things that her parents expected her to do – study hard, work sincerely, marry the right guy, and settle down. She had always been a good daughter, a dutiful wife and an abiding daughter-in-law. But today was a different day. She wanted to assure herself that she was a good mother too. Riya was seeing a new side of herself  – something she never knew existed, something which gave her the strength to stand up for what she really believed in, something which made her take the right path, no matter however difficult it seemed.
After a few hours of intense discussion, Anuj’s parents concluded by saying “Do not expect any support from us - physical, emotional or financial, if you decide to keep him”.
Anuj added “We cannot be together if you decide to keep him. You need to make a choice – a happy marriage or a troubled child. I give you a month to think and decide; and I hope you will choose our marriage over him”.
That one month was the longest one month of her life. Though Riya was staying with her parents in the same house where she had spent 27 years of her life, she felt a strange sense of detachment to everything around her, except her baby. Her parents tried to convince her to give in and save her marriage, but the look in her eyes and the determination in her voice made them realize that she had made her choice.
Riya flew down to Bangalore on the 29th day to collect her stuff.
Anuj was waiting at their home. As she stepped inside the house, she felt pangs of guilt for leaving Anuj and the relationship she had built in the last five years. As she sat beside him on the bed she relived the countless memories they had shared in that house – the fun times, the happy times, the not-so-happy times, till she was finally exhausted and fell asleep.
It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone, and soon this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old hibiscus and the half grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever. She reflected on the last 5 years of their marriage, the small instances which she had consciously chosen to ignore to keep the relationship going.
She recalled the Sunday when she was standing in the kitchen lobby, putting away the laundry in the washing machine, when she got a small pamphlet from Anuj’s trouser pocket. Anuj’s company had invited all the employees and their spouses to spend a day at an NGO associated with mentally challenged children in Marathalli. She squealed excitedly “Anuj, we are going there next Sunday, right?” Anuj’s reply shocked her. He said plainly “Riya, I don’t believe in going to these NGO’s and wasting my precious Sunday. I have better things to do in life.” She argued that it is just a matter of a couple of hours but he did not relent. He closed the discussion by saying “You can go if you want to, but don’t expect me to have any sympathy for them. It is all Karma due to which they are what they are. The Law of Karma is what goes around, comes around. It is also called the law of cause and effect, as you sow, so shall you reap. Now please let me enjoy my Sunday newspaper”.
It was her moment of epiphany. All the doubts she had in the remotest corners of her overworked brain, all the pity she had felt for herself, all the questions that had haunted her a million times in the last 29 days seemed inconsequential. She opened the large wooden window by the bedside, and felt the breeze gently caressing her face. She smiled. She had got all her answers “The Law of Karma is what goes around, comes around.”
Riya decided she would call her son “Advait – the unique one”.
She packed her bags, collected her belongings and dropped the baggages. She could not wait to go back to Advait - her little bundle of joy, her universe!